Brian Burns

1. Mr. Hemingway, what did you think when you discovered someone had made a parody of your classic The Sun Also Rises?

First thought was to ignore it. Second thought was to pour a drink. Third thought, after the drink, was curiosity. I’ve seen worse things done to better books. At least this one’s honest about being ridiculous.

2. In the original, Robert Cohn was a boxer. In this version, he’s an interpretive dancer obsessed with a cartoon rat. Your thoughts?

Cohn was always pathetic. Making him a dancer just makes it official. The cartoon rat obsession is new, but somehow fitting. He would absolutely do that. The Beige Poupon habit is disturbing though.

3. Brett Ashley is literally cursed in this version – every man who gets involved with her suffers catastrophic consequences. Is this more or less realistic than your original portrayal?

More honest, maybe. I implied the curse. This author just made it explicit. Men always suffered around Brett. Here they just suffer faster and with more medical bills. The heart attacks are a nice touch.

4. The author added a fish-themed amusement park called “Trout Land” with a mascot named Freddy Fish. Did your original need more commercial fish-based entertainment?

Obviously not. But the fishing trip needed something, and Trout Land delivered. The Freddy Fish song is somehow worse and better than anything I would’ve written. I hate that it works.

5. Ultimately, what would you like to say to this author?

You took something I cared about and made it absurd. But you did it well. The rhythm’s good. The jokes land. You understand what made the original work, even if you filled it with cartoon rats and possessed poultry.

Write the next one. Just leave the roosters out of it.

Now pour me another drink.